


Ashes of a Flame-Ridden Past

by GreenFire66



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Canonical Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Spoilers for Campaign 2, Kinda?, M/M, New Game +, death isn't explicitly described but very much present
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-10-07 09:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenFire66/pseuds/GreenFire66
Summary: When Caleb is finally able to confront the rumors of Soltryce Academy experimenting with time manipulation, he is met with the chance to achieve his goal. But what are the potential consequences of altering the past? Caleb finds out the hard way.-Or-Caleb Widogast gets to experience the popular gaming phenomenon known as New Game +.





	1. Prologue: The Previous Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Hope y'all are ready for this multi-chapter mess of a fic! I'm super excited to get this one out there, and have a lot of ideas to keep this going. I'm not gonna keep this one a delay, hope you all enjoy the prologue.

“You know,” Caleb huffed, his legs ached as he pressed further downwards. “I really don’t remember the Academy having this many stairs.”

The footsteps directly behind kept pace with his, the echoes reverberating off of the chamber walls. From upstairs, he could hear the ongoing confrontation.

_ “Go! Caleb, run!”  _ The memory of Nott’s shout carried in his mind. He grit his teeth as he ran.

He was always running. He was getting used to it. He was getting sick of it.

“Caleb,” Fjord’s voice called behind him. Barely a moment after the confrontation upstairs, Fjord gave chase when Caleb fled lower into the academy’s basement. “How much further is the-?”

“Down these stairs and through the chamber hall,” Caleb huffed in between breaths. He had burned all of his spell-casting capabilities just to get here. He should’ve been more sparing. He could’ve used Expeditious Retreat and-

“Do the stairs keep spiraling like this?” Fjord asked, suddenly right next to Caleb with a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Probably another fifty feet downwards.” Caleb answered, Frumpkin’s previous search before the group had been ambushed clear in his mind. 

Fjord stopped, and his hand on Caleb’s shoulder was enough of a weight to halt his progress. Before he could so much as voice a syllable of protest, Fjord, grinning, asked, “Do you trust me?”

Caleb, adrenaline-rushed and entirely too focused on what awaited in that room with the arcane writings and and the mystical glow, was caught off guard by the question. He took a moment to process before responding, “of course.”

Lightning crackled in Fjord’s eyes, and Caleb immediately understood. Instinctively, he pressed slightly closer to Fjord as the thunderous boom enveloped them.

When the flash of light dimmed, Caleb found himself staring at the passage that led to that room. That led to that artifact centered around all of the rumors. 

_ “Manipulation of time.”  _ The text of the book he read in the Cobalt Soul’s library. The rumors around the marketplace of Rexxentrum.  _ “Soltryce Academy has been experimenting with the manipulation of time.” _

Caleb surged ahead, Fjord hot on his heels. His vision darted across the room. Scanned it once, twice, as he ran.

“No researchers?” Fjord asked as they cleared the first half of the hall.

“They may have abandoned ship when the college realized they were being infiltrated,” Caleb suggested. Fjord summoned the falchion and pressed his back against the door. The two nodded. Both took a breath.

Fjord shoved the door open, eldritch energy cackling over the hilt of his sword. Caleb, hiding behind the the outer corner, extended his hand and peered over, flames emanating from his palm and ready to be released.

Silence greeted them.

Fjord took a step forward.

“It's… clear,  _ Ja _ ?” Caleb asked, lowering his arm slightly. The embers fading into nothing. 

The glow within the room radiated from the marble pillars that ran along the perimeter of the room. Each dimly pulsed a faint blue light. Caleb’s eyes drifted to the center of the room, and before he knew it, he found himself walking forward.

A pedestal stood in front of him, and Caleb caught himself scanning the runic engravings that ran up it. His visual trail ended as he stared at the ring that rested in a clear box on top of the pedestal.

“That ring… is that it, Caleb?” Fjord asked behind him, his voice getting quieter with every step Caleb took.

Everything else filtered out of his peripheral as Caleb approached the ring. Engraved with a script he was not immediately familiar with, the ring’s silver tri-arch design seemed to reflect the glow around the room.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Caleb responded to Fjord. A nod, a simple  _ “Ja.”  _ But that wasn’t the case as he found himself unable to make any form of confirmation as he stared the artifact, a mere arms reach from him.

From above, a loud crash echoed. A door being thrown open?

“Fuck,” Fjord's voice filled the chamber, and Caleb's attention snapped back to the situation. “We need to get goin’! Can you take it and study it later?”

“I think so.”

Caleb flipped open the lid of the box, not at all surprised by the sound of the alarm spell that flooded the room as he carefully grabbed the ring and slid it on his finger.

“Let’s go!” Caleb shouted, turning back to Fjord.

He was met with a statue. Fjord stood before him, facing the entrance with his head turned as if to respond to what Caleb had said. The sword had materialized in his hand, and Caleb stared at the water droplets that were suspended in the air.

The alarm had stopped. Much too early to be the end of the spell. The soft and slow pulsing lights of the pillars now stilled, a faint constant blue glow that flooded the now completely still room.

“Wh-what?” Caleb heard himself ask, heard his voice echo off of the nothingness around him.

_ “Where is it you wish to go?”  _ A voice asked in his head. He instinctively glanced to the ring, confused.  _ “Or rather; when?” _

“When?” Caleb parroted. He couldn’t have attuned to the item already. He just picked the ring up.

_ “Yes, when.”  _ He heard the androgynous voice continue.  _ “Really, it’s a formality, I already know-” _

“They actually did it.” Caleb stares at the ring, the dots connecting in his head. “You can take me back.”

_ “They did nothing.”  _ Caleb shifted the ring in his hand, staring at the intricacies of the runic markings that encircled the design.  _ “All they did was trap me in this and modify my natural abilities. That’s why I refused to work with them. You, however, I sense something different about you.” _

“So you’ll let me-?”

_ “I asked, didn’t I?” _

Caleb nodded.

Immediately, the area around him surged back to life: the blaring of the alarm, the pulsing glow.

“You good?” 

_ Fjord. _

“Come on, let’s-” Fjord immediately stiffened once his eyes met Caleb. Fjord took a cautious step towards him. “Caleb?”

Caleb went to raise a hand, to show he was coming, anything to try and ease whatever was causing the rapidly growing panic in Fjord’s eyes.

His hand met his peripheral, and he startled, seeing his suddenly translucent limb and watching as it began to fade away.

_ Oh.  _ **_He_ ** _ was fading away. _

“Caleb!” The sword vanished as Fjord stretched a hand towards Caleb, closing the gap between them as the half-orc rushed forward.

“Fjord…” This is what he wanted, right? To go back? To fix his mistakes? This is what he wanted. What he wanted. He-

“Ca-!”

And then everything went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, any and all kudos, comments, bookmarks, etc. are appreciated and loved. Hope you all enjoyed the start, I'm looking forward to writing the rest.


	2. To Right A Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. Am. So. Sorry. I swear this fic is not dead, and I would like to thank everyone who left notes of encouragement despite the complete halt in progress. I've been planning out this fic, and I knew this chapter was gonna be a biggie in terms of content and I wanted to iron out a lot of it before I wrote this chapter, since a lot of the rest of the fic depends on the set-up that this chapter provides.  
> Regardless, I apologize for the wait, and hope you all enjoy.
> 
> [ALSO. PLEASE CHECK THE UPDATED TAGS. THANK YOU.]

The first sensation he felt was the wind at his back.

In that moment, Caleb was aware, and he was present. His eyes snapped open at the rush of noise, something so minute, the leaves whistling in the air screamed their attention when compared to the vast nothingness that he experienced just prior.

Prior? How long ago was that feeling of nothingness? How long had he existed in that space of non-existence?

“Where…” Caleb heard himself begin, talking to no one, and the sheer volume of his whispered voice startled him. “Where am-”

The question was unneeded. Realization struck him harder than any monster blow had before, and he felt the air leave his being.

“I’m… back.” He stated to no one in particular.

The all-too familiar sight of Blumenthal met his eyes, the wooden cottage with the vegetable pasture tucked neatly behind. His father’s tool shed with the wood in obvious need of replacement of the currently deteriorating planks.  

Just like it was right before… right before he…

 _“Welcome back.”_ The voice in the ring spoke. _“I’d ask how the trip was, but I already know.”_

Caleb was already walking forward, his mind racing to catch up with the facts being thrown at him.

He paused roughly ten yards from the front entrance, and ducked behind a tree.

“What exact day did you send me to?” Caleb whispered harshly into the ring.

 _“The day you wanted to be sent to.”_ It stated matter-of-factly. _“The day that contains the event you most want to correct.”_

Caleb’s eyes shot to the sky. _3:16_ , his brain provided. He couldn’t remember the exact time he showed up with Astrid and Eodwulf, but he at least had a couple of hours.

He had time to devise a plan. He had to get his parents to safety, but he had to make the fire scene panned out like they were still burned alive, or else Trent would surely have the three of them hunt down Caleb’s parents.

He grimaced. If he had gone earlier in time, he could’ve saved all of their parents. But the ring sent him here, he had to work with what he could.

~

Caleb knocked gently, twice.

The noises from inside sent his adrenaline pulsing, footsteps approached, voices from inside. He shouldn’t be here, he doesn’t deserve to look at their faces, they don’t know what he’s done, what he’s-

The door swings open, and his brain is left numb.

“Bren?” His mother clearly looks concerned, and both he and she are met with a flood of vastly different emotions.

“Mutter…” Dampness wets his vision, and he moves to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Vater.” Caleb continues, looking up at the second set of footsteps that approach him.

Suddenly, two pairs of arms wrap around him.

 _I don’t deserve your kindness._ He pleas as he relishes in the ability to wrap an arm around each of them, his head bent over as tears continue to stream down his face. _I am not worthy of your love._

“Bren, what’s going on? You look so…” His father pulls his head back without breaking the contact of the hug. “Grown.”

“Oh.” Caleb hadn’t even thought about his physical appearance since re-entering this moment in time. He must have still looked like how he did before he was sent back in time. How he looked like travelling with the Mighty Nein. “You know. Er, stress.”

Both of his parents looked at him in disbelief.

“It’s a long story and it’s not why I’m here.” Caleb explained, straightening up slightly. He wasn’t here for the reunion, he didn’t deserve a reunion. They deserved better.

“Then, why are you here, Bren?” His mother asked, worry clouding her expression. “I thought your studies were going to keep you at Soltryce Academy for a while longer.”

“ _Ja_ , er, that is the problem.” Caleb sighed. They deserved the truth.

He was too weak to tell it.

“I have reason to believe you’re going to be attacked, soon. Very soon. I got caught up in something I should not have during my studies and I fear it will be you two and this house that will face the repercussions.”

The two stared at him, letting his words sink in.

“Are you okay, dear? Is there anything we can do to-?”

“No, no, _nein_.” Caleb shook his head. “You two just need to be safe. I need you two to be safe.” Caleb took a steadying breath. “I need you two to pack up what you need from inside this house. I will cast a spell that will keep you hidden and safe for the next twenty-four hours. Once I’m sure the danger has passed, I will let you two out of the spell and you need to go somewhere, anywhere. Somewhere I-” He paused, taking a breath. “Somewhere no one would think to look for you. And I need you two to live out the rest of your lives safe and happy.”

“Bren…”

Oh, Caleb can not handle his mother’s tears right now. He was already too close to another onslaught of emotions. “You make it sound like we’ll never see you again.”

“That is… possible. Entirely so.”

His mother shook her head, tears streaming at his words.

“There’s… nothing we can do to help? You’re sure?” His father asked.

“Knowing you two are safe, somewhere, is the most I can ask for.”

Silence gripped them, held Caleb’s stomach tight. His mother somehow managed to hug him even tighter.

“Let’s do what he says, Una.” His father nods at him, pride clear on his face. “We raised an earnest boy, after all. If he feels it’s necessary, then it’s for the best.”

_I do not deserve your trust. I do not deserve-_

After promising the two to return within the hour, Caleb set out to conduct the next part of the preparations.

~

“Once you two go in this door, I will close it from out here. The door will be undetectable by anyone out here other than myself. All I ask is that you two don’t leave the spell or open the door. I will return once the coast is clear,” Caleb explained, trying to keep his expression as level as he could manage.

“Of course, dear,” his mother replied. She pulled him in for a hug as they approached the spell door. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will.” Caleb nodded. “Get some rest in there, I tried to make it as peaceful as I could.” He watched the two of them walk through the door, the spell shimmering into seeming nothingness. As the caster of the spell, he was granted the ability to see the shimmer of where the door rest. Rubbing his hands over his eyes, he glanced at the sky once more.

 _4:22_.

With a grunt, Caleb lifted the pair of human skeletons that he dug out of the graveyard and carried them into his parent’s house. He placed them in the house, hoping that the presence of the skeletons alone would be enough.

He took a step back, thinking the process through. Nodding, he turned and took shelter near the trees of where his Magnificent Mansion spell rest.

~

As darkness swept over the town, vision illuminated by the crescent moon that hung above, Caleb crouched further into the shrubbery he hid in.

It was the longest wait of Caleb’s life, waiting for him to show up. The three approached, hoods covering their faces. Watched the three of them converse with one another. Watched younger Caleb point to the cart they used to barricade the front door.

Caleb sighed, scrubbing his face with his palms. Everything was fine, this would work. He-

He watched as his younger self muttered a few arcane words, snapped his fingers, and launched a ball of fire at the house, instantly setting it ablaze.

Caleb weaved a fleece of cotton in a rush of arcane gestures, pressing it against his lips before pointing at the building.

Immediately, the startled shriek of his mother flooded his air. Again and again Caleb replicated the motions; he created his father’s shouts, the banging on the wall, the horrid and pained sobs of his parents as they felt their own flesh burn, and-

Caleb watched as his younger self dropped to his knees, staring at the building in wide-eyed shock and horror. Astrid and Eodwulf stood next to him, undaunted and firm. They stayed like that, watching the building reduced to smoke and ashes.

Astrid and Eodwulf stepped onto the hot coals, dropping to the ground to observe the two burnt skeletons that lay on the ruins.

Turning, they nodded. Astrid placed a hand on Caleb’s shoulder, and Eodwulf’s hand overlapped her’s. Eodwulf tapped a ring on his finger twice, and the trio vanished from sight.

Caleb held his breath. Everything went as it had, as far as he could tell. Had he done it?  Astrid and Eodwulf would report their success, Caleb would break, go to the asylum, and everything would proceed as it already had.

Caleb waited. Seconds, minutes. No one came. No Trent teleporting in to confirm their story. No younger Caleb coming back to mourn.

Caleb reached out and knocked on the spell door before opening it. His parents stepped out.

“Bren, that spell was-” His mother’s voice was cut short by her sobbed gasp.

“You… you weren’t kidding.” His father mourned, shaking his head. “Thank you, Bren.”

“Do not thank me. It’s my fault this happened in the first place.” He exhaled. Reaching into his pocket, he produced a handful of gold coins and pressed them into his mother’s hands. “Go. Please. Go somewhere safe, somewhere no one would think to look, and live the rest of your lives happy.”

He looked away then, unable to hold their gaze. Silence, and Caleb felt two pairs of arms wrap around him. “We love you, Bren.”

And he broke a bit.

His parents left after that, and he refused to look in which direction they departed. Knew that if he did, he would memorize it, and he would be tempted to find them at a later day. Silently, Caleb rubbed the ring that rested on his finger.

The very air went mute in that moment, and his eyes darted up from the ground to look around. Leaves that were falling to the ground below hovered in mid-air, the smoke that billowed from the charred remains of his parent’s house froze, unswaying in the midnight breeze that no longer stung Caleb’s skin.

“Wha-what?”

 _“How can I help you?”_ The voice resounded in his mind once more. Lifting his hand, he stared at the artifact.

“I, er-” His mind stilled. Theoretically, his plan worked. His parents were alive, the situation played out in a way that was unlikely to make it so they would be found out. What was he to do now?

 _“I guess it couldn’t hurt to show you more of what I can do.”_ The voice sighed. In front of him, Caleb watched a deep blue map materialize before his eyes.

No, map wasn’t correct. A timeline?

Archaic symbols and runes and glyphs that he had never seen before grabbed his attention. He had no context for what he was seeing, logically, he should have no earthly idea of what he was looking at.

And yet.

He was looking at his timeline. His finger absent-mindedly traced the line that marked his life, watched as other lines ran into it, branched off of it. On the middle of the display, two lines shimmered into existence and branched off from his.

 _Mother… father…_ This was good, the lines branched off, never connecting with his again until they seemingly faded from existence.

Caleb sniffed. He did it.

Further ahead, Caleb saw a line connect with his, then five more. One of those five was cut short, but left room for another to also connect with Caleb’s line.

Everything was still the same. Everything worked out. He had done it.

With a nod, Caleb rubbed the ring.

“Okay. Take me back.”

He was met with silence.

_“See, here’s the thing…”_

Caleb’s stomach dropped.

_“I… can only go back. Not forward. This point of time you’re in now? This is the new present.”_

Caleb’s mind flashed to the earlier events that he left to get here.

“Then… what happened to everyone back at Soltryce Academy?”

_“That timeline was wiped. Any events that transpired after this point in time, for all intents and purposes: don’t exist. Never happened.”_

Caleb’s brain froze. He took a deep breathing, failing to process it all.

“That can’t be right. I have all of the abilities from when I left. I have all the memories.”

 _“You’re welcome.”_ The voice replied. Caleb could almost feel the smirk, followed by the exasperated sigh. _“My power grants you a temporal… stasis, if you will. From the moment you grabbed me, your entire state of being has been preserved. You will basically be immune to the effects of your time-leaps. Also, you can’t age because of the stasis.”_

“So I can’t go back.”

 _“You can go back to the past, yes. But the event you refer to happened in a different future, chronologically speaking.”_ Silence. _“Look, so far you managed to keep events mostly the same, from what I can tell. Save for one small issue, you could basically replicate everything to be as it was in the previous timeline.”_

“Small issue?” Caleb parroted, turning back to the timeline.

_“I’ll let you figure it out. You’re going to need to start thinking in four dimensions if you want to keep using this power, after all.”_

Mutely, Caleb’s finger traced the line on the archaic script. He followed his line, tracked the connections and breaks that occurred as it continued forward in space-time.

His finger froze as he saw the line stop abruptly, before pivoting in place and looping back to this very point in time.

Caleb thought, and pondered, and it clicked.

“I… I didn’t change anything.” He muttered. He shook his head, walking in small circles. If he was paying even the smallest of attentions to anything other than the display in front of him, he would have noticed the lack of the crunch as his feet met the coals, would have felt the lack of heat from the embers below him.

“That younger me is going to spend eleven years in the asylum, get his memory restored, break out. Then he’ll get thrown in jail, find Nott, meet the rest of the Mighty Nein, go to Soltryce…” He turned to stare at the spot where he re-appeared in this very timeline.

_“Pretty much. If you let this world-line continue as it is, you two will warp into reality in the exact same space at the same point in time.”_

“Based on that tone of voice, I take it that’s not a good thing,” Caleb sighed. He had a basic fundamental understanding of theories involving the space-time continuum. His research in dunamancy gave him that, at least.

_“You will single-handedly destroy the fabrics of reality and entirely undo the universe and multiverse as we know it.”_

“ _Ja_ , makes sense.” Caleb folded his arms over his chest, contemplating. “Am I to take it that there’s now two of you? Two of this ring?”

 _“There’s two of_ **_you_ ** _, isn’t there?”_

And in that moment, it registered in Caleb’s brain. Caleb knew what he had to do. “And… I’m a completely separate entity from the other me, right? You said your power kept me preserved, so that even if something happened to the me of this timeline.”

_“To keep a long explanation brief, yes. The two of you are two separate entities as far as the universe’s timeline is concerned. As long as you two don’t try to occupy the same space at the same time, such as simultaneously teleporting to a precise location, you will be fine.”_

“Understood.” Caleb nodded.

_“Yeah, well, before you get any bright ideas. You should probably understand the full scope. First, this time freeze state you’re currently experiencing happens whenever you perform any of the functions of the ring. Nothing you do has any effect of the world state. Spells you cast won’t technically take effect, as they weren’t truly cast in the first place.”_

“If I move around?”

 _“It’ll look to the world like you teleported. I’d recommend not drawing attention and suspicion to yourself.”_ Caleb nodded. Fair enough. _“Second, I’m not a limitless font of magical energy. The stasis on your body is easy enough, but the whole time-stopping thing can be draining if you do it too often for too long.”_ There was a moment’s pause, and Caleb could tell there was something else to be said.

_“Also I probably only have enough energy to go back in time two more times. Ever.”_

“You what?” Caleb’s eyes shot open.

_“Do you understand what exactly it is that I’m doing? I’m reverting the very flow of time itself to-”_

“I get it, I do, I do.” Caleb sighed. “That’s fair enough. I only really needed to go back the one time. But I will keep that in mind. Thank you.”

Caleb severed the connection with the ring, and was once again flooded with the feeling of sensation.

“Hot! Hot!” Caleb breathily hissed, backpedaling off of the embers below him. He tapped his feet against the ground. With a sigh, he glanced up to the sky.

Right now, the younger him was being congratulated by Ikithon. He was replaying the sounds of his parent’s death and reducing himself to hysteric tears in the grand entrance of the academy. In a week’s time, he would be sent to the asylum after a mandatory psychiatric evaluation given his lack of class presence.

There was never a point where Caleb could easily get to his younger self. Not until he escaped the asylum.

“Eleven years, huh?” Caleb asked himself. “I guess I’ve got some time to kill.”

_“I’m almost offended by that word choice.”_

~

Wandering around Wildemount aimlessly became exhausting after the first week. Caleb quickly left Blumenthal, knowing his presence there would attract attention if he were seen and recognized. The gold in his coin purse could easily keep him fed and provide him inn accommodations for the next eleven years, but it was eleven years.

By the third day, the voice of the ring confirmed that Caleb couldn’t accelerate time with its capabilities. He found himself thinking about the rest of the Mighty Nein. Roughly twelve years before the rest of the group met up, where would they all be?

Kamordah was a reasonable stop, it was the closest to Blumenthal, after all. Young Beauregard made herself easy enough to find, her loud antics and insistent on picking fights was a trait Caleb couldn’t help but smile at. Caleb wanted to get her out of the situation, take her away from her father and his oppressive expectations, but he couldn’t. He knew he had to let everything play out if he wanted to keep things as consistent as possible. And so, after a few months, he left Kamordah.

The Blooming Grove was next on Caleb’s list. He could only observe from afar, since it would stand out for the grave-site to have a recurring visitor. But he watched as Caduceus tended to the flora around the graves. Gathering herbs for cooking and tea alike, Caleb smiled at the peaceful isolation Caduceus’ lifestyle offered.

It was a long trek to Nicodranas. The port city seemed ever expansive before him, and he had to splurge on a slightly more up-to-standards coat just to stop drawing attention to himself. The Lavish Chateau was almost as lavish as it was since Caleb last had been. It seemed the Ruby of the Sea would make quite a few upgrades over the next decade, but the building was still as inviting as ever. Caleb managed to find a place to stand within the main foyer just in time for the show to start. The Ruby was as elegant as ever, but Caleb’s eyes were trained on the small blue tiefling girl who poked her head from around the corner of the upper level. Her toothy smile was contagious, and Caleb could see her clap along with the audience at the end of the performance.

Fjord was… a tricky one. Caleb took hold in Port Damali, paying monthly rent at an inn near the port, and waited. Everyday Caleb felt himself drawn to where the ships would pull in. He sat, reading a book, and waited. Ignoring the rumors that began to circulate about him, “I heard he’s waiting for a lover, been perched on that bench for months now,”, Caleb bid his time.

When Caleb arrived in Port Damali, it had been seven years since he left Blumenthal, and it wasn’t until the ninth year that Caleb finally saw him. It was a calm late spring morning. Caleb thumbed through his most recent purchase, _Scent of the Sea,_ if he recalls. He was hardly interested in the actual contents, reading was just a way to pass time.

“Welcome home, lads.” A familiar voice called out.

Caleb’s head shot up, and he raised an eyebrow. Stepping off the plank and onto the port, Caleb watched a man, whom Caleb assumed to be the captain, step off of the _Tide's Breath_. As he continued talking, Caleb analyzed the voice. Definitely sounded like Fjord, but not quite. Fjord’s voice was slightly deeper, but the inflections and manner of speech were almost identical.

And then he saw him. Carrying a crate of goods, Fjord closed the door to the lower deck. “Where do you want these, captain?” Fjord asked in a voice Caleb’s brain had to process before he recognized.

It was the voice Caleb heard that one time Fjord spoke aloud to his patron in the undersea ruins. So this was his natural voice?

Caleb took in the sight of Fjord, seemingly in his late teens or early twenties. Fjord looked almost like Caleb would expect a younger Fjord to look. Defined, but not quite as toned as Fjord was when he met the party. His face also took on a more youthful innocent expression, and Caleb felt a slight blush creep on his cheeks.

Pretending to dip his nose back into his book, Caleb watched as Fjord placed the crate down on the dock before turning to the captain. Vandren, Caleb’s brain supplied, ruffled Fjord’s hair when he approached. Behind him, a half-elven male approached, gently elbowing Fjord in the gut. Fjord spun to him and blushed, rubbing the back of his neck as he laughed along with whatever it was the man had said.

Smiling, Caleb stood, leaving Port Damali behind as he ventured back further inland.

He passed Felderwin on the way. On the outskirts of the town, he camped, contemplating. He wasn’t sure when, precisely, Veth became Nott. Right now, if Nott was actually Veth, he felt like he was intruding by entering. Nott’s life before Nott wasn’t Caleb’s to be privy to. He knew Nott, the Brave. In the next morning, he set out.

Gathering information on the wandering circus wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t until the early months of the eleventh year that he was actually able to meet the circus on one of the performance nights. Throwing on a disguise, he handed Yasha his dagger, trying not to smile at the familiar stern nod she gave him as he entered.

Inside, before the main act of the show, Mollymauk juggled blades, dancing flamboyantly as he did so. Caleb took a seat and watched. What did Molly’s cards read in these days? Did they tell him of his past? Of his future? Of the fate he would meet at Lorenzo’s blade?

Or at least, the fate that he met in Caleb’s previous timeline.

Caleb’s eyes widened at the thought.

Staring at the ring, Caleb looked to Molly. Sighing, he shook his head. That was too much to think on. For now, he let himself be content with the show and the performance.

~

Caleb exhaled, thinking the plan through.

It was a simple plan, really. Only two major steps.

In the dead of the night, Caleb watched his younger self flee the asylum. Following the easily traceable footprints, Caleb wondered how he hadn’t had been caught in his previous iteration of this plan.

 _The fate of the timelines._ Caleb reminded himself as he ducked behind some shrubbery. Ahead, he saw his younger self pass out, breathing heavily as his back rested against a tree. _Two separate entities._

Caleb waited a couple of hours. Waited for the breathing to even out, waited for the exhaustion to catch up and for his younger self to fall asleep.

Back when he was naive. And foolish. And didn’t yet own the thread needed for his spell.

Caleb approached.

 _I am sorry._ He thought to himself. _I am sorry for robbing you of the chance to know what it means to have a life worth living. I have to. I went back for my parents’... our parents’ sake. You would understand._

He buried the body deep in the woods.

_Farewell, Bren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Any and all Views, Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks, etc are loved and appreciated.


	3. Divergence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! I'm here! I'm alive I promise! The school semester is coming to an end, and although I have summer classes my schedule should theoretically be freeing up somewhat? I recognize this fic's update rate is akin to molasses, but I promise that, unless I say otherwise, this fic is far from dead. I have so many ideas that I'm excited to hash out and I hope you all are excited for the ride!

Being thrown in jail with Nott as a cellmate was just as reassuring the second time as it was the first.

The plan went almost identically to how it went the first time, with Caleb taking care not to act overly-friendly to the small Goblin girl who clearly had just met him. 

Caleb bit back every  _ “liebling”  _ that dared to escape his mouth. 

Following their escape from the jail cell, their adventure to Trostenwald was seemingly similar, save for Caleb throwing a shield up just in time to prevent the previously near-fatal monster strike on his form. He still let Nott go to work on decimating the creature, and properly thanked her for her assistance.

The next morning found Caleb awake before his goblin companion, and Caleb stretched himself into a sitting position with a silent yawn. Rubbing his eyes, he blearily looked at the ring on his right hand before rubbing it as one worry crossed his mind.

The wind against the inn walls stilled, and Nott’s tiny snores silenced. Even her breathing was muffled, and Caleb almost looked over in panic. Within the stasis, Caleb opened the timeline. The ethereal runic etchings danced across his fingers as he traced the lines that would soon connect with his.

_ “Everything is maintained. The timeline’s balance is much the same as the previous.” _

Caleb nodded mutely, ending the connection with a sigh. Today would theoretically be the day he re-met the Mighty Nein.

***

“Are you guys staying here?” Jester’s voice asked from behind him, and Caleb spun around in his seat with relief.

“Don’t move... Don’t. Move.” Nott whispered next to him. “Tieflings can only see movement.”

Right. No one knew each other.

“That may be true, but I can hear you,” Jester replied with a smirk and wink. She inched closer to Caleb, and her eyes scanned him over. “You should really get rid of that.” Jester pointed to Caleb’s trench coat. “They have tailors here, ya know.”

“A what?”

_ “They have baths here, ya know.”  _ Jester’s tell-tale voice sang out from the back of Caleb’s memory. Right. Now that he’s not coin-starved for spellbooks, he’s been able to afford the luxury of an occasional bath. His scent wasn’t one to be commented on.

“You buy clothing.” Jester replied simply, as if talking to a toddler.

“No, I’ve been to one before, yeah. I know what a tailor is.”

“It’s just that your clothes are really torn and old-looking and… I’m just letting you know! I would hate it if my clothes looked that bad and someone didn’t tell me.”

Caleb paused at that, unsure of how to proceed.

“Anyways! Hi! I’m Jester!” Jester exclaimed, her hand stretched outwardly to him, and for her, he knew that was far too formal.

“Hi…” He forced a breath. “I’m Caleb.”

“Nice to meet you, Caleb.” 

And that stung. Memories surged forward, of Jester giggling with glee as her spectral lollipop swung through the battlefield, tears in her eyes when the party found her after the Iron Shepards, her joy when she embraced her mother for the first time since she left her home.

Caleb looked up at the conversation happening without him. Beau and Nott talking with a noticeable layar of tension; Fjord scanning over the table, and Caleb especially, like he was a threat.

Caleb remembered how Fjord’s eyes bore into his soul when Fjord held the falchion to his throat. But also how Fjord looked at him with awe at his first spell cast, or with intrigue when they would discuss battle plans, or with softness when Fjord came to Caleb about his issues with Avantika.

Or with determination when they shook palms in front of the blood altar. The scar was still fresh on Caleb’s palm, a reminder of an event that has yet to occur. 

Caleb pressed his hands into his face in frustration before raising one hand to the barkeep.

“Could I get another Trost over here, please?” 

“Two!” Nott’s voice called next to him. “Two please! Right away!”

The conversation continued on, and Caleb forced his thoughts down. He just had to re-meet the Mighty Nein, despite the fact that the group hadn’t even been named as such. Rekindle the bonds with his friends, his family.

“Well. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a group of people more in need of a good time in my life.”

Caleb stilled at the voice. Observing from afar was one thing. But…

Mollymauk placed his hands on the table with an enthusiastic  _ thump _ , the rest of the table looked up at the tiefling. “Mollymauk Tealeaf of the Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival of Curiosities.”

Caleb’s eyes swept around the table, watching everyone’s eyes track Molly in a mixture of suspicion and awe.

Caleb found himself staring at those blood-red eyes. The same eyes that never shut.

***

The carnival was as lively as it was the first time, as well. Despite the atmosphere, Caleb tapped his fingers against his knee, staring at the show from where he sat.

He could just firebolt the demon frog, here and now. Firebolt it, Acid Arrow. Any spell really.

But he would immediately make a target of himself. Caleb knew there were two things he needed to avoid.

First, and most obviously, don't do anything that would make it seem like he knew more than he should. If he wasn't able to explain his action logically without having to draw from future-past experience, then it simply wasn't an option. There's no way any of them would trust or believe him right now.

Second, and this came naturally to Caleb, he had to make himself seem weaker than he was. He didn't want to draw attention by casting spells he had access to now that he certainly didn't have when he started adventuring with the Mighty Nein. They could work for an emergency, and he could maybe downplay the power of a spell or two if need be, but the less he used higher-end spells or abilities, the better. At least early on.

And it was this logic that found Caleb waiting for the night to turn sour, for the monstrosity to reveal itself, and for Caleb to fight back the urge to sling loose an arrow of acid or envelop the enemies in a dome of sleep. It was this logic that found Caleb’s fingers encircling the diamond in his hand as he released a chromatic orb, and watched, once more, as the Mighty Nein dove into their first combat together.

***

Recognition slaps Caleb in the face. The events played out much the same way, devil toad, go to court, be let go with the heavy implication that they should leave town sooner rather than later.

And before he realizes it Caleb finds Fjord alone as they’re packing their supplies to head out, as a group. His feet carry him before he knows it.

“This group seems, er, rough around the edges,” Caleb starts in a near whisper once he closes the distance between he and Fjord. Fjord glances up at him. “You seem clever. Hopefully we can make this work.”

Fjord gives him a quizzical look, raising an eyebrow as he seems to acknowledge Caleb’s statement. “I think we should be able to, yeah. I mean, a little guidance goes a long way.” Fjord gave him a soft smile, one Caleb recognized now as neither fully sincere nor dishonest. Hesitant. “You seem to be good at looking out for Nott.”

“I mean, full disclosure, I’m a little rough around the edges, but you catch my drift.”

“I do.” But did he? Did Fjord at this point in time truly understand the broken mess of a man Caleb was when they first had this conversation? How drained and tired of life Caleb was? How out of proportion his priorities and his ways of thinking were back when he cared not for himself nor for those around him? Did Fjord catch his drift then? Did he now?

“You can trust us. You’re safe here.” And Caleb believed those words now more than he ever thought he could have. Being with the group was a safety he could not believe he ever took for granted. He could only help Fjord, and the rest, felt the same way.

“I’m concerned with what happens with Jester and Beau. I think, amongst all of us, we should be fine.”

Caleb looked into Fjord’s gaze in that moment, and felt himself clench his blood-pact scarred hand shut.

“Let’s make it work.” Caleb held his hand out towards Fjord. 

“We’ll make it work.” Fjord answer, grasping Caleb’s palm in his. The meaning of the exchange swept over Caleb in that moment.

Caleb was still here. He truly was with the group once more.

***

Caleb’s mind was focused. He grabbed the mariner’s armor for Fjord again and inspecting the pockets of the bodies for any additional gold in case the party needed more health potions later down the line.

Mollymauk pinned him against the wall once more. And Caleb had half a mind to duck out of the convo, but he decided against it. Found he couldn’t pass up the chance to interact with the tiefling while he had the chance… before…

They climbed out of the sewers, and after Caleb uselessly cast Identify on the object that he already knew what it did, he poked the back of Fjord’s shoulder.

“Fjord?” And Fjord turns to over his shoulder to look at him. 

“Yeah?”

“I want to talk to you. Can we walk alone for a minute?” Caleb asks in a practiced easiness that he’s sure wasn’t the case when they first had this conversation.

“Sure, if you’d like.” An earnest nod as the two slow down to trail behind the rest of the group. 

“Two things,” Caleb begins once they’re a set distance away. “One is, I didn’t bring it up, even though maybe Beauregard did, but I found something in that I think is up your alley. I found this armor, and I would like to trade it. You have that glove, and I know I didn’t make a claim for it yesterday but… I have a checkered past and a… history with flame.”

The screams still haunted his nightmares, if he was earnest with himself. Far less than they did at this same point in time previously, but still.

“I… would like to have the glove, and I would love for you to have this armor. It will allow you to move freely in water. Maybe keep you safe,  _ ja _ ?”

Caleb wasn’t sure if the armor helped Fjord survive the nightmares his patron inflicted him with, but this wasn’t a risk Caleb was willing to take. He let Fjord have the glove yesterday so they could make this trade.

“Wow. Wish I had that before.” And Caleb’s chest tightened at the memory of Fjord recalling his past. Caleb’s breath hitched at Fjord’s description of how he drowned on that day. “Yeah, I think a trade would be fine, but I’ll trade you for a story of why your past is so checkered with flame. You seem to trust in my enough to tell me about it.”

_ “I don’t trust you yet.”  _ Caleb’s brain supplied the next line in the script.

But… he did. He did trust Fjord. Knew the secrets that Fjord kept and knew none of them to be harmful or malicious. 

“I…” Caleb shook his head. “I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve harmed people. You know, I thought I was going to be something, someday, a long time ago. Now…”

Caleb drew a shaky breath. “If you’d like, meet me. Tonight. In private. I can give you a better answer then.”

Fjord gave a soft smile, and an earnest nod. “Your room?”

Caleb shook his head. He needed to tell Nott and Beau at a later time, for books he no longer needed to research.

“Meet me in the main floor of the tavern, near one of the corner tables. After everyone has retired for the evening.” 

***

Back in his room, Caleb rubbed the ring. Time froze as the blue ethereal map shimmered into view.

Lines faded before his very eyes, and new ones formed, intertwining differently with the current ones that no longer stretched onward.

_ “Your actions differ. The timeline will change as a result. If you go through with this, this map will no longer guarantee your future.” _

Caleb flicked the map aside. With a nod, he opened the door and headed downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short. I promise I'll do everything I can to make the next chapter worth it. As always, any and all views, kudos, comments, bookmarks, etc are greatly appreciated!


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